Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

So yesterday I got a phone call that honestly, I was very nervous to get. I am part of an organization called, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep its a group of photographers who volunteer to take pictures free of charge, for families. It sounds simple enough, but these are very special 'clients.' The babies have either passed away at birth or will soon pass away. Its a wonderful service because we essentially provide them with the only pictures of their beautiful, sweet babies.

So yesterday was my first 'session'

I tried to mentally prepare myself for what I was about to experience, but I don't think you can fully prepare yourself.
It was hard.
I was called to assist another photographer so I was able to stand back a little and observe the situation. As I stood there watching this poor family grieving over this perfect, beautiful, full term little girl my heart went out to them.
I could only imagine the loss they were feeling.
Even if I had the perfect words to console them, it would seem so useless.
We tried to capture every sweet, tender moment and be as unintrusive as possible. The grandparents and great grandparents were there and they kept leaving the room..I guess they thought it was just for the mom and dad, I finally stopped the great grandfather before he left and asked if he wanted some pictures..he teared up and got very excited at the chance. He and his wife then held their sweet, great-grandbaby..so tenderly and lovingly. Then the grandparents took a turn and the baby's teenage uncle. It was very hard not to get emotional..
I was worried to let them see me cry, but now and then I had to wipe tears away as I thought about my own children and tried to put myself in their shoes.
It was a hard experience, you expect it when you sign on as a volunteer, but you never think you'll actually get called...its a great service and I am proud to be a part of it. I think he got some wondeful images..ones they will surely treasure forever.
I don't think this will ever get easier.